There’s a new wedding ring on the market that allegedly keeps cheaters faithful.  The words “I’m Married” are engraved on the inside of the band, and leave the same mark on your skin if you decide to slip the ring off.

“The negative engraving on the inside means that when you are in the ‘Club’ and an attractive woman…or man comes along to chat, slipping your wedding ring off is not an option,” the marketers claim.  They also say it’s guaranteed for life, “til death and all that.”

Only any spouse who’s determined to cheat probably won’t wear that ring to begin with.   “Rings bother my fingers,” he’ll say on the off chance you even ask.  Or “I’m allergic to anything gold, silver and titanium.”   And you’ll believe him because you’re never going to marry a guy you think needs this ring in the first place.   Otherwise, you wouldn’t be writing out all those place cards.   Besides, any spouse determined to cheat will also figure out how to file those words down or off completely.

These rings weren’t around when I got married.  But I wouldn’t have bought one either. “Rings bother my fingers,” my ex said at some point, shedding the ring I’d given him at the altar. “I never wear rings.  What’s the difference? You know I love you.”   I did know.  I was certain of that.  Plus, I couldn’t imagine him cheating – or another woman coming after what wasn’t hers.  That may sound naïve, but it’s true.  After all, he could just as easily have pocketed the ring instead.  Until the second half of the 20^th century, husbands rarely even wore wedding rings; the custom was reserved for wives.  A large percentage of
men still don’t — and they’re certainly not all cheaters.

I’m not sure why my ex didn’t mention his aversion right off the bat, though. I never asked.  Again, it didn’t seem important.   Perhaps it would have stirred a different signal in me before the wedding.  Perhaps I would have balked then.  Perhaps my ex hadn’t wanted to take that chance.  We really were in love.   I still think he was telling the truth, at least at the time. More than twenty years later, however, after we got divorced, he wound up marrying the woman he’d been cheating with.

Admittedly, it takes two to tango, but your spouse isn’t the only one you’ve got to worry about.  The sellers of the Anti-Cheating Ring say it was designed with Tiger and Arnold and the IMF guy in mind.  They forgot to mention the LeAnns and the Toris and the Angelinas.  Or the woman working alongside your husband in the market for a husband.

So don’t let the Anti-Cheating Ring’s 100% guarantee fool you.  Because the Rielles of this world simply don’t care whether he already belongs to someone else.   Ring or no ring.

Postscript: This blog is dedicated to a friend who is a wonderful wife and mother about to go through a divorce she does not want.  Her husband is having an affair with a single woman who knows he is married with children.  I’m told she won’t let go.  Please pray for my friend’s lovely family, and the cheaters who are about to tear it apart.